Necessary Evils
by DsignG4
Summary: Marcus is arrested and confesses to a murder, but why did he do it? MI of course. In May 2006 I Broke this up into chapters. Chapters are short, but it's a bit easier to read. Missing piece after chapter 10 readded... oops!
1. Chapter 1

I recently broke this up into multi chapters to make this easier to read and reworked this first section, gave it some more oomph. - DG4

* * *

He pressed his shoulder hard into his solar plexus to keep him firmly against the wall to restrain his movement and breathing until he was still. The man gasped for air, but did not struggle. He moved a hand heavily over the man's mouth for insurance and pressed a PPG to the mans' belly.

His victim's eyes widened at the realization of what was next, but made not so much as a whimper as he closed them to await it.

His attacker looked away with an uneasy grimace as he pulled the trigger. The PPG was point blank aimed upwards into the ribcage sending hot bands of plasma searing through most of the man's vital organs in a microsecond. His let out a strangled gurgle, his entire body seizing upwards then went limp at the knees almost immediately. He was dead before the sound of the shot was even heard.

The dead man's assailant slowly lessened his hold, letting the body slowly slump to the floor without a sound. He moved quickly, palming the PPG and rolling the body over and removing the wallet from his back pocket.

The lone figure looked back only once, then retreated into a dark passageway tossing the wallet and the PPG down the nearest waste chute

* * *

Three days laterSecurity surrounded the entrance, Sheridan signaled silently to Mr. Allen and the small armored team behind him to maintain position. They'd already agreed how to proceed. They didn't expect trouble but then they never expected this either. Never in a million years.

Zack triggered the door chime.

"Yes?" came the familiar voice came tentatively over the speaker.

"Marcus, It's Chief Allen and Captain Sheridan... We're going to need you to come along with us."

"I'm surprised it took you this long to be honest," the voice said softer and wearier after moment's hesitation. The door whirred open and Marcus stood there solemnly, arm falling to his side from triggering the control panel next to the door. The strong scent of liqour wafted out into the corridor.

Zack guessed he hadn't slept in days. His cheeks were sunken cheeks and had dark circles under his eyes, he was barefoot in dark pants and wrinkled white undershirt that only served to make him appear paler and more fragile looking than anyone remembered him being. His normally well trimmed beard was scruffy and unkempt. This was not the Marcus Cole they knew.

Sheridan pushed through the security team determinedly to come nearly nose to nose with the ranger. "We'd like to do this low profile if we can, understood?" Sheridan said it simply, but the disappointment and anger were more than clear. Zack wondered if this modest request was all that would be required as he shifted his rifle to his other side. He'd hand picked the biggest and brawniest men for the security team and briefed them on the Ranger's extensive schooling in hand to hand combat and supplied pictures from past damage reports. As it was it would still be a challenge if he didn't go peaceably.

"I won't resist," he said uneasily raising his hands just above his shoulder. His eyes skirted nervously over barrels of a half dozen security pulse rifles pointed at him. It was then he noticed the red dots from the laser sights on his chest like deadly fireflies. He crammed his eyes shut and let out a tense sigh. "Can I change first?"

Sheridan nodded, now a little less on edge. "Sure. Go ahead, Marcus."

Marcus nodded silently and slowly tread past the untouched bed He removed his t-shirt dropping to the floor behind him and opened a lower drawer of the dresser and pulled out a clean white button up shirt and put it on, leaving it hang open He then opened a upper drawer and carefully lifted out a neatly folded stack of what appeared to be his Ranger uniforms and sat them on the foot of the bed.

The rifles whirred suddenly to attention as the security officers charged their weapons in anticipation of a coming conflict when Marcus dove and hand in the middle of the stack and pulled out a handful of shiny metal. He froze, the silver tube of his Den'Bokand and his ranger pin in his large open upturned hand. "I'm just-" he began to stammer in defense.

"At ease, guys." Zack softly called back the dogs. The men took a step back and relaxed a bit. "Go ahead." he motioned to Marcus to continue.

Marcus nodded and sat the Den'Bok to the side of the pile. He knelt down and laid a kiss to the folded uniforms and whispered something in Minbari for a moment or two then placed the Ranger pin on top. He rose and turned back to them, absently buttoning up his shirt and missing a few along the way.

"Thank you. Can you make sure Delenn gets those please?" He asked finally looking up into Sheridan's stern gaze. The Captain nodded stiffly. "Okay." Marcus raised his arms again, this time out to his side waiting, staring at the floor. "I'm ready when you are."

Zack looked down at his bare feet. "You want your shoes?"

"You'll just take them when I get to lockup anyway," he mumbled lifelessly. "Why bother."

"Alright, Chief, let's do this." Sheridan motioned to Zack to begin the pat down.

Mr. Allen approached slowly. "Hands on the back of your head please," He instructed stepping slowly towards the rear of him as two security guards stepped out to cover him from the sides with their weapons.

Marcus nodded, following his order, looking only at the floor. "Sorry, I'm new to this," he cracked half-heartedly, his normally pleasant demeanor was now fearful and empty.

Sheridan stiffened at his joke as Zack secured the Ranger's hands firmly and quickly frisked him. "He's clean," he stated out of habit. Mr Allen reached to his belt for his cuffs.

"I don't know that we'll need those. Are we going to have any problems, Mr. Cole?" the Captain inquired gruffly.

"No," he quietly mouthed with a weak shake of his shaggy head. "No problems at all."


	2. Chapter 2

Breakfast was even more brooding than usual. No one said a word as the news had hit late last night and now was everywhere amongst the crew. Marcus was under arrest for murder and confessed completely. None could believe it.

"It just doesn't make sense," Zack said finally, doing nothing more than swirling his caff in his mug for the last twenty minutes thinking. Until this no one had said a word.

"He knows enough how avoid every single mistake he made, the fingerprints, tossing the evidence in place he KNEW we'd find it, the cameras... So why didn't he use any of them? He tried to make it appear like it was a robbery but it's like he wanted to get caught. He could have run to anywhere in the sector by now, and he didn't even leave his quarters for 3 days? He just WAITED for us to show up?"

"Guilty conscious?" Franklin said wearily, no one looked like they had slept, even Ivanova was looking long in the tooth this morning just staring deeply into a plate of toast and jam. She hadn't even touched her caff which was another warning sign for a bad morning for all under her.

"Has anyone talked to him?" she asked. She hadn't even so much as moved since arriving, everyone looked at her in trepidation.

"He hasn't said a word after signing the confession. Won't eat, drink, or sleep - just sits on the floor praying or something, I dunno."

"Does Delenn know?" Corwin finally piped in.

"Yeah, she's racing back from Minbar now. To say she was shocked would be an understatement," Sheridan rambled vacantly. " Sounds like she's bringing half the Ranger's hierarchy, and a bunch of religious caste with her."

"Who was he?" Susan interrupted. "Do we know yet?"

"No, he had a faked Identicard, no luck yet, he's not showing up on our arrival logs or on any Earthgov records. Whoever he was, he was up to no good that's for sure."

"Why would he take this into his own hands? Why not hand this over to security?" Franklin asked. "This isn't his style."

"That's why it doesn't make sense," Zack said taking a sip of his now cold caff and grimacing. "He had a good reason, I know it, he's not the type not to act without one. But he's not talking."


	3. Chapter 3

Marcus sat cross legged in the corner, his hands draped over the ends of his knees gracefully. He breathed in slowly letting the air out past his lips and felt another wave of tension roll out of him. No regrets. He had no regrets whatsoever, he'd do it again if the chance were still there. He'd kill the bastard as many times as was necessary.

Oh sure, he'd killed before, in the name of Valen or the Rangers, how ever you wanted to chalk it up. While he could remember every single one - and why every single reason why it was "necessary" and warranted for the cause - he didn't like to think about them. But like it or not, this was what he was trained to do. He didn't like doing it, or hadn't until this one.

This one was personal. Now it felt like he was being devoured alive. He went home and waited. Waited and thought, and waited some more until they came. He didn't fight or run or try to evade his capture, or deny his involvement. He took it like a man. He deserved to be punished - and the plan needed to proceed - this was the only way to have both. She was safe a while longer and that to him was worth it all.

They kept asking him why, and who, and he'd kept silent. He knew they deserved to know, he wanted them to know he wasn't this monster they thought he was. The monster he felt he was inside now. He reminded himself what the man WOULD have done if he'd not done what he did.

They couldn't just know NOW. He would tell them, he would, soon enough. Too much too soon could ruin everything though. He'd tell them the rest when the time came, but not before. He had to be strong a while yet.

He took another long breath and tried to relax some more.

Franklin looked on the man he thought he once knew and found himself recoiling, thinking he'd once called this decrepit shell of a man his friend. His crime sickened him, but somehow he found a shred of forgiveness knowing Marcus had a reason for everything. If only he'd say what it was.

He held the IV tube down with his thumb as he ripped a piece of tape from his kit, placing it over the area to secure it. "How's that?"

"Fine, thank you." Those were the first words he'd spoken since his confession. Stephen took that as a good sign.

"If you'd eat I wouldn't have to do this, you know. It's been three days."

"I know," was all he said. He all too aware of how long he'd been there. He rolled his sleeve down far enough to cover the taped juncture, and stared calmly at the floor once more.

Franklin shook his head. "What are you going to tell Delenn when she arrives?"

"She knows all she needs to know."

"She's bringing about a mess of Rangers and religious caste with her to deal with this - I think she expects a better answer than that."

The first sign of any emotion was finally seen on his face, he slumped and sighed rubbing his face. "Oh no, not that."

"Not what?"

"They're going to pull rank and handle this the Minbari way," he groaned, tousling his disheveled hair. "I should have seen it coming to be honest."

"What's the Minbari way?"

"You don't want to find out," he said with a resigned shrug and a wary grimace. "Trust me."

Franklin placed his hand on Marcus' shoulder. "As your doctor, in your condition if the 'Minbari way' is anything but sleeping and eating I'll put a medical hold on it."

"Nice gesture, but It won't work," he said tossing his hair back looking up at his friend. "Don't try to stop it, it's okay."

"It's NOT OK! I'm your friend and I want to know WHY you did this as much as anyone, but I don't like what you're alluding to. What the hell are they going to do to you? Tell me it's not what I think. Give me the word and I'll put a stop to it."

He placed his hands on his legs. "Excuse me, I have to prepare," he mumbled closing his eyes and resuming the meditation.

Stephen could only watch in growing anger as Marcus slowly dipped into a meditative state.

Zack shut off the vid cam that covered the cell, rubbing his chin. "What that the hell DOES that mean?" he sat up and punched in a few numbers and a Minbari's friendly face appeared.

"Hello Mr. Allen. How may I help you?"

"Lennier, what exactly IS the Minbari way?"

To say the Minbari was less than helpful would have been an understatement.

* * *

Delenn disembarked the Whitestar with her entourage in tow. A half dozen Rangers in their dark muted capes, then a handful of religious caste in solemn white robes trailed behind her in formation.

John Sheridan smiled as Delenn approached, her arms wrapped around him needing comfort. His arms held her strong, one hand caressing her silken hair. The Minbari amongst her party looked respectfully at the floor, the older ones scowled with disapproval but said nothing.

"How is he?" she asked looking up, her eyes darkened by what looked to be many long nights of worry.

"He's talking now, but nothing useful." He shook his head unable to say more. "He's pretty much keeping to himself. Refuses to eat or sleep, Franklin has him on an IV."

Delenn nodded wide eyed, then looked over her shoulder with a nod. Three older Minbari males in Ranger attire stepped forward and politely bowed in turn as they were introduced.

"John, this is Sech Durhan, Sech Turval and Sech Nelier, the most esteemed instructors to the Rangers."

Sheridan bowed as they had as they stepped aside and Delenn introduced the rest. A couple more entry level Rangers he gathered, not recognizing the names. He assumed they were protection for the older men. Three members of her caste stood in the rear who he took as counsel for Delenn herself.

She put a hand to John's cheek and smiled sorrowfully, "We will have time later, now we must go."


	4. Chapter 4

Seven days prior:

Marcus swooped up behind the fat, slimy man in the seedy bar in downbelow.

"Hello Ranger," the man said calmly taking a drink not even looking behind him.

"Good evening, Kylo," Marcus growled standing mere inches from the heavy man's back.

Kylo Nadrangan was the one of the most notorious crime lords in down below. He was Centuari, and at well over 400 pounds he looked like an over-stuffed sausage in a brocade vest. He always looked as if he were ready to roll off whatever he was sitting on. Nothing happened without his say so. If it did the person ended up dead.

"Are you going to sit or just stand there and draw attention?" the man said, pouring two glasses of amber liquid. "Now sit down before MY men grow suspicious and shoot you just for fun."

Marcus sat. Staring at the bulbous mass of Centauri in front of him almost made his stomach turn. His tiny beady eyes were set in a mass of swollen, flushed flesh. His pudgy hands fumbled at a glass that looked tiny in comparison to his body.

"I heard you're looking for someone." he said slipping the liquor down his throat. A servant poured another.

"Yes, actually. And I hear it hadn't crossed your desk for approval, that you want him as much as I do."

He laughed softly with a sneer. "I am a honest business man! I resent such accusations!"

"Just tell me who I'm looking for and we both get what we want. Is he one of yours?"

Kylo leaned in, "If it was one of mine, he'd be dead already. I don't allow my men to 'moonlight' as your people say, especially not in my own neighborhood. I like to know where everyone stands."

"Where everyone hangs is more like it. I found Jimmy, remember?"

"Jimmy! Jimmy! Broke my heart that one! I took special interest in him! Even gave him room and board to help him get back on his feet, and he misled my trust. I was sorry to see him go."

"OFF his feet you mean!"

"See? Such incredible audacity as to come into my own establishment and insult me so." The man shrugged and leaned in. "We don't contract out, period, I don't allow it. Her involvement in this pulling away from Earth thing increased my profits 400 on brown market goods. I'm grateful to them all if you must know. I wouldn't want to ruin a good thing, or see a hair on their head harmed if it will cut into my profits, GREAT MAKER FORBID! So, of course I'm a big fan of this revolution of yours to say the least." He smiled a slimy grin. "Think what you will, I'm a business man first and foremost."

"Oh Bravo, you rehearse that often," he said drolly.

"What's she to you?" Kylo snapped sitting back in his chair.

"Nothing," he said sweetly.

"Nothing?" he smiled, beaming a pointy yellowed smile. "You don't tend to come down here for nothing. I've learned that much about you after all this time! You are a man of great conviction!"

"You know who it is," he said, realizing the man was not just rambling.

"Yes, of COURSE I do! What kind of criminal underlord would I be if I didn't?" he said with a snide smile. "But all my transactions have a price. What's he worth to you?"

"Your fat head staying on your even fatter shoulders," Marcus said with a growl.

"Now, now, I can't tell you if I'm beheaded can I?" he said coldly. "We all have favors we need done, no? I like to know things... I like to be prepared for the future, just in case."

Marcus felt the sudden realization that Kylo was way more intelligent than his putrid appearance led one to believe.

"I have one request for a man of your... varied talents. A favor you could say."

"I'm not bargaining for anything," Marcus said. "You don't want to make me angry."

"Ooh, very butch! Say that to someone who it would work on," he snickered. Then his face turned into a menacing scowl. "You are in NO position to demand anything, because you want this guy too much," he smiled sleazily, implicating much more than he said. "I want this man gone as much as you do. Maybe more! No one steps on my toes! But! I also need a favor, that fact leaves me holding the trump card, as you say, no?"

Kylo quickly threw up his demands. "What do I want? I want one of my men brought back on board. He was unfairly accused of a little infraction concerning some Drazi contraband few months back and has been banned from station access. I don't care how you get him past the check points. You'll have your name with time to spare, agreed?"

Marcus sighed, he had to, he saw he had no choice. What was one more drop in a bucket of water? If it meant he got his man, he'd do it. He had to protect her.

"I am not waiting to get this information, I must have it now, there's barely enough time as it is," he said slowly, eyeing the man angrily.

"I know these things aren't easy," Kylo said his voice now patronizing. "I know they take time! Preparations, planning, I WILL tell you now, if you but promise to do it. I know you are a man of your word, like me -- your word is enough. BUT If you end up not coming through, let's just say I will be displeased with our arrangement, and will release the dogs. I just need him by end of next month. As to the how, that's up to you. A month is more than enough time for a man of your skills to don't you think?"

"What's end of next month?" Marcus asked curious about the timing.

"AH, ah,ah! We are not in the questioning phase anymore! We are in the answering phase. You give me my answer, and I'll give you yours."

Marcus stared at the man with intent determination. It was obvious, he had no choice. "Okay," he said finally with a twitch, knowing there was no other way. "You got me, a month."

"Argus Flint."

"Excuse me?"

"Your man's name is Argus Flint," he said pointing to his glass for another drink. "And, I'll tell you he's an Earther with a bad attitude towards aliens, free of charge!"

"Always a man of generosity," Marcus cracked solemnly feeling like he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

"Can't afford to be cheap in my line of work. I'll forward my man's info to your babcom."

Marcus nodded reluctantly.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Ranger. Come again, anytime! Drinks are on me!"

Marcus took his leave, not liking the turn of this conversation. He had two choices now.


	5. Chapter 5

Zack looked up over his newspaper at the group of Rangers who could only be described as a Brute Squad staring down at him. They hadn't been there when he turned the last page a minute ago. Delenn stood serenely in the front, hands crossed. Waiting.

He swallowed hard, but played it cool, closing and folding the paper and laying it neatly on the table to his side. He laid his hands across his stomach leaning back in his chair. "Ambassador, I can only let one of you in at a time. You know that."

"I know. They will wait here for now," She looked over her shoulder and nodded to the older Minbari there, they said nothing, but something had been conversed and decided upon. " But understand, this is a Minbari issue."

"What? Minbari issue? Human kills a human on a Earth-operated station, I don't see how this is a Minbari issue."

She pulled from her robes a folded piece of paper and presented it to him emotionlessly.

He opened it and paled. "You can't be serious, I can't believe the Cap'n would approve this." If he hadn't been looking at it he wouldn't have believed it himself.

"Call him if you wish, but I will see him now, alone."

Zack quickly skimmed the paperwork. "You can bet I'll call him alright. This says nothing about leaving the station so without THAT authorization he's not leaving this block. So, don't get any ideas," he said giving a warning glance at the Rangers behind her. They glared back.

He lead her into the cell area. Arriving, he deactivated Marcus' cell and pointed towards the end. "Down there on the right." He said, the stomped off angrily leaving her alone in the hallway.

She stood there a minute, just staring at the door. Finally, she pressed the button to open the door. It whirred silently up.

He sat in a far corner, back to her. She lowered her head under the slanted door opening and entered. It closed behind her and locked into place. She looked behind her at it uncomfortably.

"I am here," she spoke softly.

He wearily rose and approached her, but did not look her in the eye. He looked so out of place in human clothes now to her. She had come to think of him as more Minbari than human, but the man she saw now bore little resemblance to the personable, charming, honorable man that had once used his name. He looked only haunted and lonely. He slouched, his plain white shirt was wrinkled, and didn't look like he'd slept in days. A IV bag laid in the corner on the floor - full. When he looked up into her eyes, she saw the darkness and fear there. There had always been fear in Marcus' eyes, but never like this.

She silently held out her arms and he walked into them, a tear running down his cheek. He held tight, laying his head softly on her shoulder not. Delenn was taken aback. Marcus, while never aloof, never shared his emotions. She raised her arms and smoothed them over his back and caressed his hair like a mother would a child.

"It's alright, shhh, I'm here now," she soothed. "Tell me."

"I can't," he whispered. "I can't tell anyone."

"I am sorry." she murmured, gripping him tighter tears running down her face. "You know what this means."

"Yes."

"Did I tell you to do that!" Commander Ivanova roared at her junior officer on duty. "Never assume my decisions again! Now get that freighter back in line or I'll have your ass!"

Ok, she was irritable. She hadn't been sleeping well since this news about Marcus came out. Susan hadn't been able to think of much else the last few days, to be honest.

She thought she knew him, she really thought she knew him. How could he have done this? Why did he do it? Dwelling on it only left her feeling empty and hollow but she just couldn't stop.

She really couldn't imagine him killing anyone. That was the only word she could sum him up it was 'unassuming', but at the same time she didn't really KNOW what Rangers were expected to do as a part of their everyday work. She was sure it was similar to Special Forces, where such acts were necessary, but the thing was if it had been necessary would he have made sure he was found and confessed? No, there was much more to this. He wasn't offering ideas on motivation, or even the man's real identity, and that made her wonder. She knew there was more to it somehow and she held great apprehension in that feeling.

"Commander, Chief Allen on the line," one of her officers from the pit commented. She'd asked Zack privately for two daily updates every day.

"I'll take it here," she said punching in her access code.

She took a deep breath as he appeared on the screen. "Any news?"

"They've made it clear that this is now in Minbari hands. Sheridan's given them full jurisdiction over him

"You're kidding. On what grounds?"

"I got the paper work right here. It's all in order. It says as a Minbari Citizen he's under their 'judicial guardianship' and they are being pretty explicit on keeping this hush hush."

"Why don't I like the sound of that?" she groaned. "What are they doing?"

"Uhm, Commander, I'd really rather not say over the line."

"Alright. I'm coming down," she said shutting the link before Zack could protest. "I'm going to Security, if there're any problems, deal with them yourselves," she said unbuttoning the top snap on her duty jacket and leaving. In a few short minutes she was there.

"Commander, I'm not so sure this was a good idea," Zack protested as she entered.

"Show me," she barked.

"Ok, but this is between you and me." Zack pulled up the picture on the small screen in front of his chair.

Marcus was naked to the waist and barefoot, laying prostate on the floor his arms, legs and fingers outstretched as far as they would go, his nose pressed to the floor as one of the elder Minbari dignitaries circled him slowly carrying a thin reed cane.

"They removed all the video and audio units when they arrived, so you never saw this."

She raised an eyebrow, "So how ARE we seeing this?"

"When he heard there was a Minbari group coming he suddenly got very nervous and hinted at something bad happening, so that's why I moved him to a cell with a hidden vid unit before they even arrived. I'm recording everything."

"Good thinking."

"Thanks. I sure the hell wasn't going to leave him in there unsupervised without witnesses. I don't know enough Minbari to understand what they're asking, and the translator doesn't work all that well with their dialect, but he's keeping tight-lipped. He's damn determined to keep whatever he knows secret."

"How long has he been like that?"

"About 16 hours, anytime he so much as moves a toe that big one wallops him across someplace with that cane."

She leaned closer to the screen. It was then that Susan saw the markings on his back, some old, some new and fresh.

"He's been through this before, look at his back," Susan growled appalled.

Zack leaned in. "I'll be damned, I bet your right. So is this some sort of ceremony then?"

"No idea, but I'm going to find out. When are you going to step in and stop this?"

"I'd love too but we don't have much legal footing since the Cap's signed him over to them. I'll play their little game and see if they get any answers so we can get ours. If it gets too much farther and he looks to be in real medical danger, or if try to remove him from the station, I have a force all ready to intervene."

"Ok. That's good enough I suppose, I'm going to see the Captain about this now. I can't believe he knows and approves of what they're doing to him."

Zack looked at the monitor at his prisoner. "Despite what he did, I like the guy. Real class act. I really feel sorry for him. He doesn't have anyone, and the people he DOES have are doing this to him. Doesn't seem fair."

Ivanova nodded, her brow furrowed, "I better go. Get a stream of that ready to send, I may need it."

After she left Zack looked back at the screen rubbing his neck. "Delenn must be one hell of a good lay for the Cap to allow this."


	6. Chapter 6

"They have a moral disagreement with death of personality. If he's found guilty there's a chance that he could be sentenced with that option. To them that's unacceptable," Sheridan argued.

"But they don't have a problem with torture? Have you seen what they're doing to him?" she pleaded.

"Susan, I know where you're coming from - I do - but as the Rangers are Military, he's considered Minbari under their laws. I can't do anything about that. Me signing the paper was a formality and you know that. He's theirs to deal with, all we can do is present our case and a prosecutor. I'm sorry."

"Have you seen him?"

"No. I'm trying to stay out of-"

She hit her link. "Mr. Allen - can you feed that video to the Captain's babcom?"

"Uhm, sure thing," he answered.

Sheridan's wall unit now indicated incoming feed. Susan stormed over and turned it on. "Look at that!"

Sheridan winced, walking closer.

"Look at him John. Tell me that I'm not seeing what I'm seeing. See those scars? Those lashes? They did that."

"It's their way Susan. He knew the risks when he did this."

'They're torturing him, John. Minbari regs or not, this is a Earth station and it's against OUR LAWS."

" I totally agree with you, it sickens me too, but the Minbari have made it perfectly clear, we can't interfere."

"Watch me," she growled her eyes flaring and storming out.

-----

"Delenn!" She growled approaching the ambassador in the hallway outside the green sector diplomatic wing. She was returning form the latest session in the jailhouse with Marcus. The tiny woman stopped and turned towards the Commander quizzically.

She stopped in front of the Minbari only inches away and looked down at her. "You can stop what you are doing to him anytime." Ivanova challenged bluntly getting right to the point.

"And what, exactly, are we doing to him?" She answered curiously. "Commander?"

"We both know what's going on in there, I just can't believe you're condoning it." She said barely able to withhold the anger. "Torture is against Earthforce regulations, and I won't have it on my station."

"So is mutiny, Commander, as I recall YOUR laws. And yet here we are." The words were crisp and cold, but her face was emotionless. "How long has it been since you were in a Earthforce uniform? Do not speak to me on laws. Excuse me, I have much to do." She moved past the woman.

"I'm not done with this Delenn," She called after.

She turned back "Nor would I expect you be. I am just doing what I think is best for Marcus."

She screwed her lips together in a sneer, "Funny, so am I."

"And I am sure he appreciates that, especially from you. If you will excuse me." She said turning and finally walking away.

Susan mouthed an obscenity and triggered her link "Ivanova to Allen."

"Hey commander, any luck?"

"About like I expected, but I had to try. How much trouble do you think I would get into for locking the Minbari in their quarters for say a month or two?" She sighed. "You have any better ideas for your end?

"Yeah, actually I do, but I need some more time."

----

They'd finally left him to rest, and he'd tried but sleep wouldn't come. All he could think of was what he'd done, why he'd done it, and when the truth would come out. He knew he couldn't hold them off forever, he just hoped it would be long enough.

He rolled to his stomach and began doing push ups to build some strength back into his weary limbs and get the blood flowing again. He'd lain too still too long. After fifty he dropped to the floor, rolling onto his back breathing heavily. At least he felt alive. Weak but alive. He hoped the other half of his plan was going well, he hoped he could hold until then.

He raked the sweat back into his hair, breathing heavily and rested a second only to hear the door to his cell unlocking. He sat up, were they back so soon?

He was relived to see Zack entering with yet another food tray. "Feeling hungry?" he asked.

"No more than the last time you asked," he said softly. It wasn't a lie,

since this all started he felt nothing much at all.

Zack sat the tray on the table in the corner and then pulled up the chair next to him, straddling it and leaning his arms across the back. "You have to eat something eventually."

"I'm fasting," he said with a bit of a snip to his voice. "I have to until this is over. It'd be easier if you'd stop bringing in food to be honest."

"Sorry, I have to. It's been five days, how much longer you going to do this?"

"Until it's done."

"Ah. So anytime between now and when you keel over right?"

"Something like that," he said sheepishly. "It's called Rag'sh, it's, uhm, a spiritual cleansing of sorts."

"Okay, that explains the fasting, but what are they doing to you? Is that part of this Rag'esh?"

"No. I can't talk about that."

"Ah well, speaking of cleansing. You look like you could a shower and a shave. Smell like it too. That is unless the Minbari have a ceremony for being filthy while being 'cleansed'."

He looked down embarrassedly. "No. And yes, I suppose you're right, I could do with a shower."

Zack stood an offered his hand to help him stand. Marcus accepted and wearily felt the days of his confinement and starvation in his muscles.

The shower felt wonderful, and while he was in Zack took his clothes to be cleaned and replaced them with a gray shirt and trousers with the security emblem on the sleeve. A prison uniform.

Marcus shuddered seeing them waiting for him and a wave of panic rolled through him and sent him racing back into the bathroom to vomit. Not having eaten in so long he had nothing to vacate but bitter bile and the water he'd resumed drinking. He gagged as another swell of nausea forced it's way past.

He draped his body weakly over the bowl heaving for breath as he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Just hit you huh?"

Covering his mouth he nodded wide eyed.

"I see this everyday, biggest, meanest guys you ever saw crying like babies puking their guts out when they get theirs," Zack smiled comfortingly. "Damnedest thing you ever saw. But you're different."

"How am I different?"

"I don't see you being in it very long."

"What's... that mean?" he asked taking a cup of water from the security chief.

"It means I think you're biding your time for something else to happen."

"I don't know what you mean," he said a little too quickly.

"I know you well enough to know what you're capable of. Granted, I know Rangers are held on a higher regard, but let's not mince words here, ok? You're soldiers - it's expected. You're expected to kill. Maybe even ordered to. You've done it before, right?"

Marcus looked like he'd just realized he'd been played since Zack entered with the food.

"Yes," he exhaled carefully now on alert, now examining everything the chief did.

"You don't seem the kind to lose it and forget everything they taught you and get sloppy. Other than your writing a confession on the wall at the crime scene and slapping up a Polaroid as proof you couldn't have made it any easier to pin this on you. You didn't even wipe your fingerprints off the gun. So what's different about this one?"

"I think I better go back to my cell, I'm feeling tired," he said slowly. He'd underestimated the chief's abilities and prowess and he wouldn't do so again.

"Not yet. Come on, you have friends who want to know how they can help.

Friends who are TRYING to help that I bet you'd be surprised to know you had. Why can't you help yourself?"

"My FRIENDS can leave me alone. I don't need help."

"Because you've got it under control right?"

"Yes!" he roared losing his temper finally. "I have everything under control! Now leave me be!"

Zack swung in a different direction now, "Lennier's about your best friend isn't he? I thought it was odd he's never come to see you. Not even once."

"My crime is a disgrace to the Minbari. He has duties, he knows I understand that and do not expect him to."

"Duties, right, duties to you?"

"Lennier is not involved in this."

"I never said he was. Tell me what the deal is or I'll put him in a cell next to you until I find out."

"No!"

"Why not?"

He couldn't think anymore, the weariness in his mind was overwhelming him.

"We live for the one, we die for the one," he ground out, resorting to the mantra to hold him firmly in control, but his willpower was sketchy at best. His body was numbed and warm from the relaxing shower and the days without food were taxing his mind.

"This has nothing to do with Delenn, does it?" Zack pushed harder, but his voice was compassionate.

Marcus didn't have to answer for Zack to know he was right. The look in his eyes was enough.


	7. Chapter 7

"He was always one of my best students but I never honestly thought he was paying attention," Turval smiled sadly. "We taught him well. Too well perhaps. "

"I still do not understand his refusals," Delenn said bowing before the bowl and dipping her finger within it and running her wet fingers around the edge of her bonecrest. "He is normally obedient enough."

"While he is many things, Marcus has never been obedient, do not fool yourself Delenn," Durhann observed with a wise smile. "It's his stubbornness that once again challenges us."

"It is his stubbornness that I find I admire most," Delenn murmured half to herself. "He believes so much, yet believes he believes in nothing."

"That is why we are here. To remind him," Durhann snapped rising. "Come, it's nearly time."

He was too weak he discovered to go without food any longer - it was only weakening his resolve. Zack was too close to the truth and it wasn't time. But he didn't know it all yet, and he wasn't going to.

After the brief verbal exploratory Marcus acquiesced and ate. If Zack could get this far the Minbari would break him in a few more hours. He had to be able to hold them back, and that took strength which he no longer had.

He never should have begun the Rag'esh knowing they would be trying him this way. It was foolish to think his body was as resilient as the Minbari's were. Only they could've attempted both at the same time. He sometimes forgot he wasn't Minbari. But he'd felt the need atone for his act in some way.

He huddled over the tray eating the last of the meal he'd been brought. It was cold now, but he found himself wolfing it down fairly quickly. He hadn't been 'hungry' since he arrived, until the first bite of food went down. Then he was ravenous.

He drug his body to the small rock hard cot and immediately feel asleep, his body humming almost with the sudden intake of nourishment - so much for Rag'esh.

He awoke hours later to the sound of his cell door opening. He groaned and rolled to his side to see who was there.

"You have visitors," the morning shift guard said stiffly.

Marcus looked up to see the elders had come back, this time with the Triluminary. They were speeding up the process.

Valen, save me, he thought sitting up.

Lennier answered the door to see Zack Allen and Commander Ivanova there.

"We need to talk Lennier," the security officer said softly.

"I do not understand," he protested innocently. "I am getting ready to make lunch for-"

"Cut the crap," Ivanova snapped entering the Minbari's quarters. "You know why he did this."

"I do not understand."

"You haven't seen Marcus since we brought him in. I thought you were his friend. Did you talk about this beforehand and that why you have no need to see him? If you did, it MEANS you knew this was happening and said nothing. Do you know what that means?" Zack said quickly.

The Minbari showed no reaction.

"We can put you in a cell and charge you with accessory to murder," Ivanova said angrily. "Then Delenn will know. Do you know what they are doing to Marcus? Do you want them doing that to you? They will you know."

That last threat showed the largest promise on this case Zack had seen since it started. Lennier hesitated.

"Come on Lennier. I can't believe he did this." Ivanova said in a softer tone. "We want to help him. Tell us how."

"He DID do it, commander." he stated hesitantly. "You will have your answers soon."

"How soon?" Zack asked.

"I expect word tomorrow. That is all I can say."

The chief's link chirped. "Allen," he answered looking away annoyed at the interruption.

"You better get down here, I don't know what they are doing to him but it sounds bad."

Allen and his armored security team arrived just as the dignitaries were leaving. Hoods drawn over their faces they cascaded past slowly in procession.

He angrily glared at the smallest one of the group as they passed by knowing it was Delenn. He called after demanding answers but none were given. The Rangers took up behind, following the officials, and the cell block was cleared in moments. There was an eerie silence that none could deny.

Zack ran up and looked in to the cell to see Marcus rising to his feet, wearily using the wall for his support. Drenched in sweat, white as a ghost with dark circles under his eyes. Straining, he nodded to Zack in unsaid acknowledgement he was alright, then crumpled to the floor as his body shook violently with seizures.

"Get medlab in here, now!" Ivanova barked falling to her knees at his side, holding the sides of his head to keep it from smashing on the floor. Two medlab techs from the outside hallway scurried into the room with a gurney and proceeded to race him off with Ivanova and two guards in tow.

Franklin worked hurriedly. His brain rhythms were off the scale, firing erratically. Whatever the Minbari had done they did a good job. Finally after thirty minutes he got the right cocktail of drugs and Marcus was stable. It'd taken a combination of sedatives, blood thinners and telepathic inhibitors to calm the misfiring and garner any results. All his readings were within normal ranges again, and after a brief cross-examining session to declare condition he was sleeping comfortably.

"You better tell us what you know. NOW, Lennier" Sheridan demanded.

----

Ivanova had called him and he'd pounded the floors with she and Zack in the following minutes until he'd been declared stable. To say he was not in a good mood would have been an understatement.

The Minbari nodded but did not remove his eyes from the his friend. "You are right. He was wrong to let it go this far," he said staring at the floor. "I was wrong to let him."

"Who was he protecting?" Susan asked.

"You, Commander," he said looking into their concerned faces. "Ever since you began the Voice of Resistance broadcasts you have become very... unpopular on Earth."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Very unpopular," Lennier reiterated looking away. "A few weeks ago Marcus uncovered a tip that claimed someone was looking to hire extra help for a job in downbelow. With some research marcus discoved who the man was... well... he was a paid assassin sent to kill you, Commander."

"What?" her response was little more than a squeak.

"Ranger Cole trailed him for a week, monitoring all his incoming and outgoing transmissions so that he could discover who was behind it. He then determined he could wait no longer to get his information as the man was preparing to act. When confronted, he was 'unhelpful' in providing more information, and Marcus did the only thing he felt he could to insure your further safety."

Ivanova was no appeared longer listening, staring agape at the man asleep on the medlab bed.

"So he planned this?" Zack asked. "All this?"

"In part, yes... it was an act of last resort, but in the end he felt there was no other way. This is when he came to me for assistance. His delaying your questions, Mr. Allen, in turn delayed a factual report being filed and the employer learning that his plan had failed. Marcus thought him to have some sort of connection on the station where he could monitor his progress. Failure before discovering his identity could give them the time to send another to succeed in his place. A simple arrest of the man wouldn't have provided adequate time.

"He has many friends amongst the Rangers. It was not hard to find one willing to help investigate."

Lennier pulled an Identicard from his robes and handed it to the security chief. "This is the man's true identity. Marcus substituted a fake Identicard to slow his identification even more. Having his real name listed on the report could have ruined everything."

"I can't believe you withheld evidence!" Sheridan bellowed abruptly. "How could you possibly support this?"

"I am fully aware of my collaboration Captain! While I do not agree with his act, I do understand his reasons for doing so!" Lennier lashed back in response.

He finished softer. "Marcus should not have stood alone in his punishment. I will now stand at his side."

Susan been halfway paying attention since the shock, "What reasons?" she asked vacantly, still staring at the lab.

"Those are for him to say, I would not presume to speak for him. Am I under arrest now?" Lennier asked quietly.

Zack was caught off guard trying to make sense of it all, and Lennier's inquiry woke him. He looked to the Captain and they both unspokenly agreed. "No, not right now, not as long as you don'tleave the station."

"I have no plans to. If you require me, you know-"

"Where to find you. Yeah, get out of here," Zack finished grumbling.

Lennier quickly departed and Zack looked to his companions. Ivanova was absorbed in her thoughts and Sheridan was talking with Dr Franklin now, looking reluctant to leave.

"I'm heading back to the office and get started on this," he held up the Identicard and announced just loud enough that someone might hear, but no one seemed to.

She felt two strong hands on her back. "How ya doin, kiddo?" Sheridan asked warmly, leaning in squeezing her shoulders. He gave her a comforting kiss to the top of her head.

"How should I be doing?" she snapped. Shaking her head she apologized. "Sorry John. I just don't know how to feel about this yet."

"No one expects you to," he said kneeling next to her, patting her knee supportively. "No one expects anything. This is a pretty big whammy."

"What do you say? Thanks a lot for killing that bad guy, hope to repay the favor sometime?" She covered her face with her hands. "I'm horrified and relieved - all at once - then I'm horrified that I'm relieved! It's a no win! I don't even know what I'm more horrified about, what he did, or what he let them do to him to keep it a secret. Or that he did it for me! What the hell was he thinking?" she whimpered. "I don't even know whether to thank him or punch him."

"I know what he was thinking," he smiled with a wink.

"Oh, don't even start," she groaned. "I know, ok, I know! How could I NOT know, he's about as subtle as a Pakmara's breath. It still doesn't make it right. Does it?"

"Damn right it does. This Flint guy wasn't a saint, Susan. Don't even think he was. What Marcus did, while not palatable, was the right thing," he said. "In case your wondering, I'm, uhm, going to ask Zack to seal this case as is and cooperate with the Rangers behind the scenes to locate the employer. Marcus was right in his attempts to keep this off the books."

Ivanova nodded. "I was going to ask you about that."

"I can't in good faith charge him with something I would have done myself, not with all he went through already. I think he's already served his sentence - and then some with all the Minbari have done to him. If you talk to him, he knows what he did, don't grind his nose in it, OK? I'm sure he feels bad enough already," he said. "And, on that note, I need to leave. I have a pretty unpleasant talk with Delenn brewing that I'm not looking forward to."

"I bet," she mumbled. "I should get back to work. Sitting here isn't helping anything." She started to rise from the chair, Sheridan gripped her shoulders and pushed her back down.

"Why don't you take some time off? You've needed some for while now. Just relax a few days and try to get your mind off this. Granted it's not the best news, but we know the threat is there, and now we can prepare for it."


	8. Chapter 8

John Sheridan returned to his quarters to find Delenn at her makeshift altar of assorted religious 'knick-knacks' as his dad called them. Her slim back was turned as she was patiently lighting a few of the candles placed there.

He buried his chin in his chest and passed her into the bedroom, and removed his coat and began to unbutton his shirt neck when she entered behind him and stood in the doorway.

"You are angry."

He nodded. "Damn right I am." He turned and regarded his lover heavily. "If I'd had any idea that you would have done THAT to him I NEVER would have signed him over to Minbari Regulation."

"I know," she replied simply.

"Well, I want to know why! Why did you do that to a friend of yours? A FRIEND Delenn! You don't do that to friends, at least not where I come from."

"We Minbari are different John," she started slowly.

"Yes you are, and you keep forgetting Marcus is NOT Minbari!" he interrupted loudly.

She continued ignoring him. "His being my friend is precisely why I continued. He is a Ranger first. He knew his punishment for such an act."

"So, what does he get when he kills for YOU? Is it worse than what he got in there?"

"No." She stopped short of saying more.

"'No' it doesn't get worse, or 'no' he doesn't get punished," he pressed her.

"A Ranger's only responsibility is to his Entil'zha and the cause. All others are to be ignored."

"Oh I get it. So when he kills for you it's for the cause, and that's peachy keen, but for anything else, no matter how noble or correct, it's what - punishable by death?"

"John, you do not understand-"

"I understand fine. He stopped someone from killing someone he loved Delenn," he said. "How many times have I killed for you? How many ships have I taken out to keep you safe? How many - I've lost count."

"You are not a Ranger," she gasped, holding back a single precarious tear.

"I can't see the difference from here. Oh that's right, he's one of your little sycophants but he didn't do it FOR you. That's his crime." He said it tired and low, he was weary of this battle.

"John, that's not fair!"

"No. You're not being fair to him." He pursed his lips and put his hands on his hips and began to pace around her. "I've dropped the charges. There was no crime. You can call off the dogs. Are we agreed?"

She stared at the floor. "Yes," she breathed so softly he almost did not hear her.

"Good!" he said, changing his shirt and jacket. "I have to get back to work."

----

He woke wearily. Straining, he threw his long legs over the side of the med-bed with great exertion. Releasing a groan he ran his fingers through his hair. The first thing he noticed was the absence of security. He saw medlab staff scurrying about but they hadn't yet noticed his awakened state.

He placed his hands on the table next to him and pressed down on them stretching. He was rewarded with a few welcome pops along his spine as the last of his discomfort there left him. He let out a sigh. All better, well almost, he had a broken rib he could tell by the familiar pain of deeply inhaling, and a nasty headache, but at least his back didn't hurt anymore.

The Minbari hadn't been as brutal as he'd expected, he could only guess the worst was to come. He felt recharged though, as though the rest he'd gotten under the medlab care would reenergize him for the next phase, it couldn't go much longer now could it?

"We should start calling you Lazarus," Dr Franklin joked entering.

"Nice to know someone cares," he smiled softly.

"Feeling up to a visitor? Chief Allen was wanting to talk to you."

Marcus nodded and took a couple deep breaths to clear his mind.

"Welcome back," Zack Allen said entering. "Well you look better! How ya'

feel?"

"Except for this headache and some sore ribs I'm good for another go, I'd say." He smiled half-heartedly. "Shall I get ready to go back now?"

"Back? They didn't tell you? You don't go back," Zack smiled. "You're a free man."

"Excuse me, what?" Marcus blinked.

"The Captain's cleared you of the charges under the circumstances."

"And exactly what circumstances are those?" he asked warily, watching the security officer with a heavy stare.

"Lennier told us everything. The contract, the plan, the target. Even gave us the Identacard. Captain ordered me to close the case."

"I confessed to a crime, you have proof for Christ's sake. He can't do that," Marcus stammered.

"He already did it," Zack shrugged. "In case you haven't noticed, we don't exactly run by the book here anymore. At least, not if we don't want to."

Zack took a chair to his side, he lowered his voice, "Confidentially, just between you and me, Sheridan couldn't stand seeing what the Minbari put you through, he had a real thunder-buster with Delenn over it too I understand. Ramirez said he heard it a whole corridor away. In the end, we're playing this your way."

"My way? What exactly is MY way thus far? Besides making a total bleeding mess of things, of course!"

"The whole case from here on out is off the books. I listed Flint as a John Doe. I even put in that I thought he could be a lurker that disappeared a few weeks ago to confuse things even more. I can't remove your arrest, but I DID state that you were released after an investigation that came up empty for proof and closed the case pending further evidence. It's a sound way to do it if anyone's looking, not a thing suspicious about it. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Marcus had been listening chewing on his thumb tip. "What about Lennier?" he asked carefully looking up.

"Lennier's still in contact with the Ranger, everything as far as I know is fine there, we're all waiting for the final word -- Nothing has changed."

Now, he scowled. "Wrong. Does she know?" he asked raising one eyebrow.

"Ivanova? Yeah, I'd say so, she was with me when Lennier told us."

"Then you're wrong, everything HAS changed. I really AM a dead man," he grumbled falling back on to his medlab bed. "I really would like to be locked up again now if you don't mind, I'd probably be safer with the Minbari." He threw his arms over his eyes in misery.

Zack nudged him. "Marcus, if you'd have just told me this at the beginning I could have kept all this between you and me and let your little plan work itself out without having the detour into the Minbari Hall of Pain. I could have even arrested him and held him indefinitely for having his pants unzipped in the bathroom or something if I had to."

Marcus let out a unintentional chuckle at that. "I know, sometimes I get too focused on dealing with things myself. It's side effect of doing this so long I'm afraid. Believe me, this won't happen again. I don't like what I did, don't like what it made me."

Zack continued, "I would have done the same thing if it was... someone I cared for. And I think you're wrong about Ivanova. I don't think she wants to kill you at all."


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm gonna kill him," she grumbled straightening her uniform jacket. Word had just come down he was awake and lucid and mostly unharmed.

She took a deep breath and looked at her reflection in the monitor on her control panel. She suddenly wished she'd worn her hair up today, having it down looked too soft. She didn't want to appear soft.

"No, I won't kill him, maybe I'll just maim him," she said pulling her hair quickly into a pony tail with one hand and fumbling for a tie she kept in her side drawer for when it got frantic with the other.

She stopped. There was also something else she remembered from the call, a flutter, almost a tickle, just in her throat when she heard he was awake. Her hands fell to her side, her hair tumbling back to her shoulders in chestnut curls. She WAS soft. When the hell did that happen? Shit.

He was walking around medlab gingerly testing his legs when she arrived. One look at her and he knew he was in for it big time.

"Hello, Commander," he said trying to sound nonchalant.

She contorted her face and only raised her chin in acknowledgement. "You have a minute for a walk in the in the hall?" She nodded towards the doorway. "We need to talk," she growled out bluntly.

Marcus' chin fell, although his mouth was firmly closed, he hesitantly looked to Stephen, eyes wide. The good doctor offered no help but only mumbled, "Your funeral," shrugged and scurried off to a back lab looking busy with an amused grin. The ball was clearly his, if he chose to play.

Marcus cursed him under his breath and looked back, nodding slowly. "Sure, I could use a bit of fresh air, so to speak," he said, deciding not to delay the inevitable.

They arrived at the door out at the same time, he took a step back, "After you, ladies first," he said out of pure habit of his mother's constant training as a child. She scowled even harder but stomped through the door all the same.

Marcus took another deep breath and followed her, his pace unnaturally slower and more labored. After a few quick strides he asked, "Our route doesn't happen to go past any airlocks or waste compactor hatches does it?"

She shot him an ice-cold glare over her shoulder and kept up the stiff pace. He squirmed. "I'll take that as a yes," he mumbled back under his breath.

He found her quick gait a bit difficult to match with his ribs in their current state, and offered more than a little discomfort that he forced himself to bite past as he pressed in on them to support the muscles there.

She stopped short near abandoned medlab corridor and spun around, eyes ablaze. "You EVER do that again and I WILL personally see to it that you hang in the Alpha Squadron bay by your genitalia! AM I clear?"

Marcus nodded. "Yes, yes, and that would be totally in order. I couldn't agree more. Yes," he voiced briskly with a bit of a pant due to the exertion. He just wanted to sit down right now, his head was swimming.

"Shut up! I'm not finished!" Susan Ivanova had an innate power to be able to glare DOWN at people she was shorter than. And, she was really, really good at it. Marcus had a few inches on her, but now felt tiny facing the slim commander with the defiant jaw.

Her voice was softer now, but still rigid. "Why the hell did you do that?" Her tone surprised him, it sounded tired and beaten. "Why?"

He looked away. "I think we all know why," he replied frankly. "Probably best to ignore it."

"I can't do that," she murmured even softer, looking at her hands now uncomfortably. "I understand that you, uhm, felt you had to protect me… because your feelings for me, or whatever, but…uhm, damn…" She went to speak a few times more but caught herself biting her lip and stopped, unsure she should say whatever it was she was going to say. She finally rolled her eyes a bit and shifted her weight uneasily with a long hard sigh. "Aw hell."

She leapt forward and grasped him by both sides of his face, her fingers along his jaw and under his ears holding him solidly, and kissed him, pressing her lips hard to his. He let out a whimper out of shock, then his hands hesitantly moved to steady himself, fingertips lightly grazing her back. He leaned forward crushing his lips against hers in an instinctual response that only served to fuel the fire. His senses raced from her taste, her very being and leaned in a bit more and felt her teeth slowly open. She gasped, breaking it off stepping backwards. Shoving him away with a firm hand to his breastbone to the wall behind him.

He yowled loudly, as he felt the rib dislocate once more into blinding waves of pain. The snap was audible even to Susan, who turned ghostly white in recognition. His knees buckled and he caught himself in time to cling to the wall to keep from falling.

Realizing what she'd done, she covered her mouth in shock, her eyes wide. "Oh god! I'm sorry!" she yelped staring at him. "I'm sorry!"

He squeezed both hands to his side with a gurgle, leaning against the wall for support gritting his teeth. "What the hell was THAT?" he growled out frustrated. He wasn't referring to his injury and she knew it.

"I don't know!" she blurted then retreated down the hall, almost running as fast as her feet would take her. He stared after, his knees finally giving way and he slid to the floor into a tangled mass. He groaned at the pain.

"Bloody hell!" he called out to her, realizing he was not going to be able to get back up easily. "Susan! Come back! Susan! I can't get up!"

She was gone.

He cried out a few times for help after unsuccessfully able to wrench his body to his feet. Medlab heard the calls and swiftly retrieved him in the ever-fashionable wheelchair.

Marcus didn't say a word when they rolled him back in and began to re-examine and reset the rib. His mind couldn't help from replaying the scene in the hall. She'd kissed him, she really had. It wasn't medication or his usual overactive imagination this time either. She even seemed to like it. He couldn't keep the corners of his mouth from turning up just a bit. Just enough that Stephen noticed and asked what that was for. Marcus only shook his head noncommittally and tried his damnedest to look aloof.

When the doctor had finished he finally spoke again. "Only two ribs, I'd say you got off light. She must be losing her touch."

"No," Marcus could hardly hold back a grin, "she hasn't."

----

What the hell had gotten into her? She was going nuts - that was it. Damn, damn. She'd had this whole monologue memorized, she was going to go at him then thank him for his concern, but stress she's a big girl and doesn't need his help, in her typical stiff manner. Then she was going to tell him that she knew his feelings for her but there was no way in hell she could return them. The war was at a critical stage and there simply wasn't time or room for entanglements.

That's what she was GOING to say, but once she looked into those nervous green eyes seeking hers so intensely she was at a loss in the wake of the feelings coursing through her. Why he'd done what he'd done, and what she'd known he'd been trying to tell her for so long. She crumbled. She struggled looking to her hands to regain control, but all she could think about why he'd done what he had and all she could think of was that she wanted to kiss him. So she kissed him.

She lost her mind for a moment debating what it was she was feeling and decided to SEE if it was what she thought it was. It was meant to be a peck and nothing more, just a bet with herself she was sure she'd lose, that she'd feel nothing, but before she had a chance to evaluate it, it become more. A lot more, and it was good. That bad kind of good she'd been trying to ignore most of her adult life it seemed. Shit. Everything was suddenly even more complicated than normal.

She walked back smoothly into C&C.

"So, did you maim him, Commander?" Corwin asked with a little smile. He averted his attention from his screens as she passed by.

She cocked her head raising her chin, uncomfortable at being teased by her junior officer but she put on a snide smile, he was finally getting a little hair on his chest. "Actually, yes I did," she said truthfully with a dry smile walking straight on by.

Corwin gulped audibly and immediately returned to his duties of trying not to bother her again.


	10. Chapter 10

Marcus said nothing the rest of the time while the good doctors did the remainder of their work, he only stared off into space consumed in his thoughts. He had other things on his mind, well more of one than another but both bore equal weight on him.

She kissed him. Kissed him with all the glorious fires that consumed her very soul and lit that inferno behind her eyes, and for the brief moments it lasted it consumed him just as passionately. He licked his lips patiently as he waited for the lab techs to finish the final touches, he could still taste her. Oh blast, this complicated things immensely.

He didn't have the answers still he sought, all of this yet might have been for nothing. They didn't have the Money-man. Worst of all - everyone knew, including her. God only knew how many others. His being objective just went out the window as soon as he pulled the trigger. By god, if he'd known her feelings for him, he never would have done it. He'd have just taken her far away on a Whitestar while the jarheads did all the work.

He only did it because he never thought it would have gotten so far so fast as it had and that she'd never ever know what he'd done. He never wanted her to know the depths of his darkness, of the growling demons he only managed to hold at bay only through bare determination of will and pride. He never wanted anyone to see what he held behind the drapery of a sharp looking Ranger uniform, or what he did for it.

He shouldn't have done it at all, with any feelings, for anything or anyone. He threw his training out the window for the desires of his heart.

It was WHY Rangers were examined to ensure did not enter with vengeance or vendetta on their minds. Everything you did, you did with a free conscious, at least you were supposed to sell that to yourself that way. He had mainly, by blocking out the faces of those he'd personally 'dealt with', by telling himself it was necessary to the cause.

Flint's dispatching had not been necessary to the cause and he knew it, and no amount of trying to justify it to the contrary was working. Susan was the Voice of Resistance - a symbol of the Earth Alliance. But he couldn't get by it, that no matter his part in it, it was a separate war from the war he was charged for and he was not a soldier of the Alliance. If not for his personal interests he never would have committed the act to begin with. He certainly never would have been asked to do it.

He'd broken the cardinal rule of the Anla'shok. And for that the elders had punished him.

It wasn't that he'd killed, Zack had been right, it was expected. He'd been trained to do it. One never liked it, but you did it. It was that he'd done it for reasons other than the cause. He killed for love, and killing for love canceled out love. It was like karmic payback. A dark seed in the heart only grows darker until it consumes it's host. He was feeling pretty chewy right about now.

Thus the other thought consuming it reared it's head. He had to continue with one before he could continue the other. If there was to possibly BE another. He had to free his soul, or at least his mind.

He never really gave much thought to all that soul mumbojumbo when he started the Rangers, but now he was having a bit of a crisis of anti-faith. He needed something to atone to, and for. A reason if nothing else.

Franklin was obviously holding back a sniggle as he rolled the last of the strapping web to bind his ribs once more. It woke Marcus from his thoughts. Medical science as advanced as it was now, still couldn't mend bones like they could on all those scifi vids with the wave of a magic laser thingamajig. Healing still took time. He'd learned that much on his own.

Marcus nodded back and gingerly pulled his shirt over the bandages. "Am I released then?"

"Yep. You're free. Just no more Minbari Q&A sessions? Alright?"

"I can't promise you that," he frowned, rising to his feet to leave.

"You're kidding right?" Franklin called out to him as he walked farther away down the hall. "Tell me you're joking!"

Marcus waved one hand, still walking away. "Hopefully I won't need you again anytime soon."

He walked like a man possessed, straight to green sector, and found himself ringing the door chime. The door opened to expose face of his former instructor, who greeted him, hesitant, but fondly smiling at him.

"Marcus, It is good to see you on your feet again."

"I ask to continue." He said getting right to the point.

"There is no need. The Entil'zha has decreed that you were finished," he spoke softly, regarding Marcus heavily. "Therefore you are finished."

"But you don't believe so, do you?" he asked frankly.

"No," the man lowered his eyes, "I do not."

"Neither do I," he said pushing his way past into the room and the door closed.

Marcus knelt head lowered, arms resting on his legs, palm-side down. He'd been sitting here twenty minutes and all Turval had done was sit across from him and watch silently.

Marcus got the distinct impression he was expected to act first, so slowly he gathered his courage and chose his words carefully.

"Master, what now?"

"I don't know," He could hear the clear indecision in his voice. "We know the truth now, but you must finish your path. Your physical condition must be accounted for, and I find myself at a loss on how to continue this."

"My condition is meaningless," Marcus intoned obediently as he was taught to.

Turval let out a groan of dissatisfaction. "Oh, in Valen's name, Marcus! Does it hurt?"

Marcus looked up. "Does what hurt?"

"Your body, does it pain you?"

"Yes, but it will pass," he said lowering his eyes again. "It always does."

"Then our way is out of the question, isn't it?" He thought for a second then drew in a sharp breath. "How do Humans do this? How do you lessen your burdens with each other?"

Marcus exhaled through tight lips, "It depends on the situation I suppose."

"How would YOU do this if our positions were reversed? What would you suggest?"


	11. Chapter 11

He stumbled back in his quarters, staggering he fell into his only piece of furniture beside the bed - a large overstuffed chair that looked far more comfortable then it actually was. He pulled one leg over the arm and pressed himself into its corner.

With a sigh, he sank into the cushions wishing once more he had an actual couch, his legs were much to long to try to curl up in this, and the bed, well the bed was at least 5 agonizing steps further away. The chair would work for now, thank you very much.

He pulled his hands over his face pulling at it tiredly, his body ached, his head hurt - he was even pretty sure his little toe hurt. He wished he had a shower. A shower would certainly help to make him feel better and maybe stop that infernal ringing inside his head. What was that taste in his mouth anyway? He didn't remember ingesting that.

A burst of light rushed in behind his eyelids and the sound of his doors being opened.

He opened them with a start, it's intensity only pained him more, he grimaced and let out an involuntarily objection. "What the hell?"

Even in his state he could clearly tell it was Susan Ivanova. Her figure had been burned in his brain for the last two years. Silhouetted by the light of the hall behind her, she held a PPG low at her waist. "Are you alone?" She snapped out looking side to side within his quarters.

"I would hope so. What in the hell are you doing here?" he grunted squinting past the pain in his head into the blinding light.

"Checking on you. We got a signal someone had entered here but you didn't answer the doorbell," she said flatly entering, holstering her PPG. "Are you OK?"

"That's a matter of definition," he said finally moving a hand to shield his eyes from the light. "Something wrong?"

"We've been looking everywhere for you for the past 18 hours," she said coming to his side, the door thankfully closed, returning it to near pitch darkness. She caught a glimpse of him before . Horror evident on her face, she knelt at his side to get a better look at him. "You look like hell. What the hell did they do to you?" Her concern was not lost to him.

"Nothing. I helped a bit this time," he let a slow smile creep out.

Ivanova cringed, finally getting a whiff of his breath. "You're drunk?"

"Bingo," he smiled, pointing his finger and touching the tip of her nose.

"Bingo?" she asked, raising one perfect eyebrow. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Never better," he said slowly rising to his feet with a weary smile. "You were worried," he softly stated, it wasn't a question, merely an observation.

She ignored his observation and replied with an unemotional tone. "Word from Franklin was that you were headed to the Minbari leaders looking for more."

"Yes. We had some business to attend to still, yes."

"After what they did to you?"

"I had to," he mumbled. "For myself. We did it the 'human way' this time." Actually, this way had been harder. It was too natural. His defenses fell easily and talked out everything that was on his mind. He was glad Turval hadn't thought of it earlier.

"Oh really? What's the human way?"

"Going to a bar and drinking heavily, of course." He smiled.

"I thought Minbari couldn't drink."

"'Shouldn't' and 'couldn't' are different animals entirely," he quipped filling a large cup with water and drinking it down. "I lost count of how much Junkto he'd had somewhere around explaining the fall of Rome, or something," he rambled mindlessly, god but his head did hurt.

Whereas Earth-style alcohol made Minbari violent, Sha'kaar Junkto, on the other hand, made them one hell of a good time. It was alcoholic to Minbari but unlike earth alcohol it didn't disagree with Minbari constitutions. It was rather a lot like Tequila but without the nasty side effects like throwing people through walls or sleeping with your best friend's wife. The joyously hedonistic Romans couldn't hold a candle to a Minbari hopped up on Junkto.

It was a primarily Warrior caste drink, made from the berries and barks of several Minbari trees. It tasted like a cross of lemons, licorice and old feet, simply awful as far as Marcus was concerned. He however drank whiskey, a real warriors drink. The drink of his forefathers.

He freed his body from the pretzel he'd carefully twisted himself into and stood wobbily. She instinctively shot out a hand to help him steady himself. "Geeze. Did you leave any IN the bottle?"

"I'm sure I left a bit in one of them," he smiled proudly, then it dimished to a sheepish smirk. "We had a lot to talk about. Seems I repress a lot until the glasses come out."

"Been there, done that," she said drolly pulling back her hand waiting for him to fall over. "So, what happened to your foot?" she frowned watching him limp around the kitchen and back into the living area.

He stopped to think. He remembered something about an one-armed pike contest, "Uhm, I forget," he lied. It had been VERY late in the evening and he only really recalled both being really bad at it in their current states and the sounds of things breaking and riotous laughter. He was sure he'd be reminded later with some sort of exorbitant bill.

She stood back up, straightening her uniform, "Well, now that you're OK, I should go."

He caught here blue eyes and held them intensely with his own. "Wait."

She froze. She knew he'd do this, that's why she was trying to make a quick getaway. She turned back and faced him forcing her voice to be cool. "What?"

"Don't you want to why I did it?" He walked slowly towards her. "Why I went back?"

"Isn't that kinda' personal? I mean like some sort of Ranger/teacher confidentiality agreement?"

"Not if you want to know," he said catching her eyes with his again and holding them tight. His voice was husky, and tired. "Do you want to know?"

"Sure," she stammered pulling hers away to look at the floor. "Fire away."

"Because I never finished anything in my life," he said quickly.

She looked side to side not quite believing. "That's it?"

"Isn't it enough? I thought it was rather profound myself given my condition."

"Well, I suppose. I just thought it would be something more, I don't know, mysterious or ..."

"Romantic?" he interjected.

She could feel her cheeks redden to a blush. "Yeah, something like that."

"Sorry. Truth is, I have a habit of putting things off till the bad stuff happens and I never get to finish it. It's the guilt of the 'what ifs' that take you out at the knees."

She felt her heart began to pound, her ears rang. She knew the 'what ifs' all too well. She took a step back. "I better go, really, Corwin will be waiting for his relief."

"I imagine he'll be more relieved without you, poor lad." he said with a smile slowly advancing on her. Susan backed away equally slow, matching his pace.

"If I had told you earlier how I felt then I never would have been afraid of not being able to tell you later and never would have done what I did in fear of not finishing what I never had a chance to." His brow furrowed seeing her trying to comprehend what he said. "Does that make sense?"

She stumbled through her brain for words. She nodded thoughtfully. "You realized all this tonight? What the hell were you drinking? Where do I get some?" She cringed at her usual self preservation method - sarcasm.

He let out a bemused smirk. "Sounded better over glasses I'll admit, but it's true. As much as Flint deserved what he got, I did it for me. I was afraid about failing once more, and I didn't want to fail again without even having a chance to try."

She nodded slowly. Susan realized she now was backed up against the wall, she put on her game face. She knew he was asking for her help to finish this.

"So tell me already before someone else has to die." She was joking and his sheepish laugh told her he knew it.

She froze as he leaned forward and his lips brushed hers. It was just a second's touch that sent her spiraling. He pulled away before it really got going. It wasn't sloppy, or lusty as the hallway had been, or any kiss she'd ever remembered having. It was almost pure and left her infinitely touched by it's eloquence. He didn't need to say anything else.

She reached out placing her hands around his neck and pulled him back, her mouth capturing his lazily. He wrapped his lean arms around her and held on tight. He tasted like whiskey but she didn't care, the kisses grew more arduous. Fingers caressing faces and tangling in hair,

"Marcus?" The voice of Lennier could clearly be heard coming from the babcom. "Marcus are you there?"

They were out of range of the babcom camera so neither moved. "Ignore him, he'll go away." he murmured past her lips.

"That's what I said about you," she whispered back. He let out a muffled chuckle.

"Marcus?" the Minbari aide called again.

He pulled his mouth away. "GO AWAY DAMN YOU!" he reverberated loud enough for it to carry to the babcom.

"You have a package. Johanssen has arrived," Lennier said simply, then severed the connection. Marcus pulled away. She released her grip on him.

"Who's Johanssen?" she asked seeing the dark cloud begin to pass over his face.

"The man with our answers."

-----

They entered the war room en masse -Marcus, Susan, John, Delenn, and Zack. The Ranger sat next to Lennier at the end of the table with a flimsy flat on the table in front of him. Marcus was suddenly aware of how awful he felt. He'd arrived home to find Susan breaking in, and now this. He really needed a shower, a big meal, and some sleep. He didn't see either happening soon. He'd thankfully popped a few oxytabs on the way out the door, he needed to at least appear to be cognizant.

Lennier and Delenn acknowledged the Ranger silently and took seats to his side. The rest filed in and filled the remaining spots. Susan went out of her way to NOT sit next to him, he smiled to himself.

"I was told this was a private issue, Entil'Zha," he asked Delenn hesitantly. The Ranger haltingly looking to all the strange faces of those he did now know.

"There have been some 'developments' since you were dispatched. Please continue," she said softly urging the man.

He nodded curtly, pushing outwards towards her. "It's all there. It took some doing I'll tell you, but I managed to work my way into banking records and track the payments. Twelve over several months in varying amounts, from different subsidiaries of the same organization. They almost hid it from me – almost." There was an unmistakable prideful overtone which Marcus did not fail to miss. The man took pride in his accomplishments, as he did, and the harder they were the better.

Delenn rose, crossing her hands and bowing, "You may go Anla'shok, we won't be needing you, and I'm sure you'd like to rest." The man nodded politely. "May Valen guide you."

Marcus and Lennier joined in. Crossing their thumbs into the familiar triangular pattern, they bowed murmuring Minbar words of respect, and greeting in religious caste tongue. The Ranger Johanssen rose, straight backed and departed escorted by Lennier.

Delenn then looked to Susan giving unspoken permission to take it. She inhaled deeply and rose. She took the flimsy from in front of Delenn and popped it in the reader at the end of the table.

Her brow furrowed, Marcus could see her scrolling through skimming the information determinedly until she found the name she was looking for. She stilled, finding it.

"Who is it?" John Sheridan asked quietly.

Marcus knew more by watching Susan, than asking could have told him alone, he knew her body language so well. This was bad.

She did not turn, her head still held high but rigid, when she finally spoke it was mixed with quiet rage and fear. "Malcolm Biggs." Delenn's face marked the name recognition, and only looked at the table in disbelief. Everyone else was confused.

Marcus didn't know who this Malcolm was, but he suddenly felt the familiar urge to smash him through a hull in the smallest opening possible. He struggled to remind himself that his wants to protect her was how he got here to begin with.

Finally Susan turned, exposing her face. She was ashen, and her eyes were red. "Excuse me," she said dispassionately setting down the remote and stalking out.

Marcus squirmed uncomfortably wanting to rush to her, but knowing doing so would only anger her more. So he let her leave, he had a pretty good idea where she was going. He'd give her a few minutes to break a few things first. She looked like she needed it.

"Alright." Marcus spoke up, "I'm fairly new here, I'll admit. So, who is this Malcolm Biggs, anyway?" He looked firmly from person to person not liking the unyielding silence there.

John took a hesitant breath in, and rolled the pen in his hand between his fingers. "Susan's Ex, from Io, I believe. I only met him once."

"Ex? Her XO?" he asked, certain he meant Executive Officer.

"No, ex. Uhm, for lack of a better word, boyfriend. It was a long time ago. It ended rather badly as I recall."

"Yes," Delenn spoke up finally. "He arrived before you were assigned here, attempting a reconciliation as they had parted ways evidentially years before. It was then we began to suspect he was with what you call the "Home Guard" and recent alien attacks on the station could be attributed to his influence."

"HomeGuard? I had the pleasure of 'dealing' with some on Mars a few months back. Lovely fellows for a bunch of sniveling racists," he said sarcastically, but remembered they weren't going to be up for a lot of meetings once he'd finished with them. They'd been in his way in getting from here to there. No one got in his way when there was a job to be done.

"He came to recruit members amongst the staff to gain assistance and access in executing simultaneous assassinations of all the Resident Ambassadors. Commander Ivanova was key in his capture and arrest as I recall, and a witness in the Trial," Delenn finished. "As was I."

"I imagine he just got out of prison and wanted to settle the score. Three years, out early on good behavior I imagine, timing seems about right." Sheridan nodded, then rose, "Ok, I should go talk to her."

Marcus suddenly had a very bad feeling, and jumped to his feet as well. "I'll do it. I got her in to this."


	12. Chapter 12

She laid a roundhouse kick into bag, the bag swung wildly. The tether at the top that was supposed to hold it in place, shuddered, looking ready to snap. She jumped, back-stepping lightly from foot to foot readying for another, her fists held in front - ready for another go. She had a finely honed defensive form, he could tell she did this a lot. He hoped to never have to go up against her, he wasn't sure he'd win. She had one hell of a right hook.

"Thought I'd find you here," he finally spoke. He'd been watching appreciatively from the doorway a few seconds and wanted to let her get a few more ounces of aggression out before he approached. He strode smoothly in, standing a few feet off to her side so she could see him as she began another tirade on the bag.

She laid a right hook into the bag. "I really (punch) really (punch) want to be alone (punch) right now, (punch, punch punch, punch)," she said, sweat spraying off her arms with each throw.

Her sweaty undershirt was plastered to her and her ponytail was working it's way free, causing locks of hair to stick to the sides of her face and neck. She looked like a warrior goddess to him.

"I can see that."

He took a seat on the bench to her side in the gym. She was all alone here, he'd known for months which gym she worked out in. The one furthest from everywhere else, of course. He doubted honestly if anyone else knew it was even here. He KNEW Ivanova. He knew how she thought, perhaps better than he knew his own. He had no doubt she'd be found here. She spent many hours here a week just hammering away at the bag as if her life depended on it.

She ignored him for many minutes, only occasionally shooting him a sideways glance now and again while she continued her onslaught.

He finally opened his mouth quietly, looking at her feet as they glided forwards and back. "Wanna talk about it?"

His voice was little more than a harsh whisper. He looked up into her clear blue eyes, that were dark with anger – and fear. He could see the briefest moment of consideration in her eyes, but she instead turned and began swinging again.

"No," she said connecting with the bag now with a side kick, about crotch level. Marcus inwardly winced. She was being very clear, but he wasn't going to leave her like this – she'd give her self a stroke.

"I think it gives up already, and you look like you could use a break before you fall over." He held out her water bottle from the spot on the bench next to him.

"Come on now, have a seat, please?" Urging her softly, he patted the bench beside him, holding her eyes confidently with his own. "Before you fall over? I don't think I could carry you all the way to medlab, not in my present condition," he said the last part jokingly. She did not smile.

She punched once more, a hard right hook that sent the bag flailing. "I'm fine," Susan snapped curtly, catching the dummy and stopping it's swing with one hand. "Who told you I was here anyway?" She glared at him fiercely.

"No one. It's part of my job to know where everyone goes, where they hang out, how they blow off steam," he said using his best calming voice.

"So, you get your jollies watching me work out huh?" It came out venomously, with a low hiss. "That explains a lot."

His brow furrowed, he didn't like what he was hearing. "No, I just pay attention, I never know when I'll need to find one of you," he said being sure to slowly measure his words. "And I don't appreciate what you're suggesting!" he tossed in a little hurt.

"Then fuck you!" she bellowed her face contorting in rage.

Her head fell forwards, touching her chin to her chest, she peeked at him out of the corner of her eye guiltily. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just so GODDAMN MAD!" Her ire raised once more she growled and leapt towards the bag again with a flurry of stiff hard fast hits that Marcus could barely see. My god but she is something to witness when she's angry, he thought to himself.

She wore down quickly. Ending with one lone punch and then hanging her arms over the bag for support, exhausted, her chest heaving for air.

Marcus rose and led her to sit handing her the bottle. She drank great swallows between heaving breaths. She stared only at the floor, her elbows resting on her knees.

"Are you mad at ME?" he asked monotone. "I am the one who made all this an issue to begin with."

"No," her response was weak and soft, she was exhausted and tired of thinking, he could tell. "For once, no, I'm not mad at you. Believe it or not. I'm just… mad at life."

A slight snicker passed her lips and she once more locked eyes with him. "What was your plan once you figured out who was behind this?"

Marcus took a deep breath. "I didn't have one," he said truthfully. "I was just trying to hold out long enough for the information to arrive. Just buy time. Then I was going to hand it over, honest. I never try to think too far ahead. I dunno what I would have done."

She shook her head. "We can't touch him can we?"

"If he's as high up in the HomeGuard as I was lead to believe, no, I don't think we can without raising a lot of red flags. We don't want to feed any fires."

"Does he know about Flint?"

"I'm sure he knows something happened, it's been two weeks without word from him."

"But he doesn't have any reason to believe we know?"

"I'm still pretty sure he has someone here on the station keeping track, but no, the way Zack did the records he doesn't appear to be anything other than just another lurker death. He may just think that Flint took the money and split. It could take him a long time to get the balls and funds to try again. I doubt we hear from him at all to be honest. But I'll keep some eyes pointed his direction to be safe."

"Good. We'll just be more aggressive on security, be one step ahead, just in case" she said softly. She reached back and ripped the tie from her ponytail, letting her damp hair fall to her shoulders. She swept the loose strands back with her fingers. She didn't speak for along time, just drank more of her water in silent sips, keeping her eyes forward.

She finally whispered, "This doesn't scare me, I'm used to feeling this way, betrayed, alone, used by everyone who claims to have loved me and then trying to hurt me in the end. I don't like it, but I'm used to it."

"That's an awful thing to get 'used to'."

"I don't feel that way when you're around," she said crisply, then looked up into his eyes. "I never have. I tried and tried to convince myself it was there, but its not." She ripped her eyes away again and looked at her hands.

"When you did what you did for me. I actually felt safe for the first time in years. Knowing someone was looking out for me, actually trying to protect me. Somehow what you did was, in some ways, and I can't believe I'm saying this, the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me."

She paused for a few seconds, gathering her thoughts again. "I've known for long time how you felt. I could almost feel it. That DID scare me, because I know you meant it, and because you're not like the others. I don't know how to deal with that. He heard her sniffle and wipe a tear from her eye with the back if her hand. "If I were you, I'd run like hell."

"You DON'T scare ME." He smiled, but she looked to be consumed in some inner battle. "Not at all."

"Are you hungry?" It came out sounding small and soft. "I could really use a bite to eat. Care to join me?"

Marcus smiled, he'd used those exact words with her on numerous occasions. He felt a warm rush over his body as he realized what she was asking for - a future.

"Famished," he said softly back.

She stood and reached out her small hand to him, he took it and rose. They stood chest to chest for a few seconds then Marcus leaned forward and kissed her.

When their lips met Susan's other thoughts fell away. Her hands instinctively crept up his back pulling him, grasping at the Ranger uniform to keep him as close as she could, needing more. So much more. She amazed herself. She went two years trying not to speak to him, let alone look at him, and today it seemed she couldn't keep away from him. She'd been afraid of this.

He released her hand from his own, trailing his fingers up her arms and slipped them behind her neck, winding them into her hair, his thumbs lightly brushing the front of her ears and across her cheeks.

A shudder escaped her as he kissed her deeper, kneading her lips with deliberate restraint. It was torturously slow and meticulous. She could tell he was determined to take his damn sweet time. She lashed out with her tongue, flicking his lower lip as it traveled over hers, offering invitation. He accepted just as methodically, not rushing anything. Slow, arduous - it drove her insane. She loved every second.

His mouth left hers and nuzzling her neck he whispered, "We should go now." Whispering into her ear, his breath warm on her neck - was not helping her to consider what he was saying with an open mind. "Don't you think?"

This was not a suggestion. He wasn't comfortable here, and neither was she, honestly despite this was about as far away from people as a place could be in this sector. She nodded. "Yeah, I need a shower, and a change of clothes," she smirked looking down at her damp tank shirt.

"Yes you do. And, as it's been hours since I was last home for any stretch of time, so do I. So..." he said smoothly, taking her hand in his and pressing it to his lips once then holding it against his chest engulfed in his own.

She interrupted him. "Oh my god, Marcus, I forgot how long you've been awake!" She quickly did the math in her head. Medlab, then out with Turval for eighteen hours of drunken male bonding, then she met up with him and then off to the meeting, and now this. Quite a full thirty six hours she guessed.

"If you'd rather we did this another time - I'd totally understand if you did." She quickly tried to give him an easy out. She'd have been biting through walls by now. Only now did she see the worn look in his eyes.

"Nonsense, Wouldn't miss it for the world. Besides, I'm a Ranger. This is nothing compared to basic training. I am more hungry then tired right now anyway. So! Why don't I walk you back home and you do what ever it is you need to do, I go to my place and do what I need to do, and I'll meet you back at your quarters and then head out really fast for a bite. Then I'll go home and sleep. Promise."

"Ok, but you don't need to walk me back. You're levels away from me and it'd save time if– "

"I'm walking you back," he said sternly. "Or do I need to remind you of exactly what the situation is here?" His tone was all business. "Safety first. I know you don't like it but that's the way it is for awhile."

"Alright, alright." She gave in, he let go of her hand and helped her gather up her belongings.

-----

Do what he needed to do, he said to himself the thirtieth time while walking home. He'd been chanting it in his mind. DO what he needed to do. This all seemed far too familiar for his comfort. He needed to do this one last thing, then he wouldn't have to worry anymore.

He entered his quarters flinging his duster off onto the floor as he went straight to the babcom and punched in a code, Johanssen appeared. "Hey Marcus! How are you feeling?."

"Better Tim, and thanks for your help," he smiled grimly.

"No problem, I owe you big time for getting my family off Zebron Seven."

"Rangers stick together," he said softly. It was the unwritten code of the Rangers they added themselves. They often did each other favors that were never spoken of before the elders or even each other. The bacon and eggs had been one. He in return had acquired Jolla wine from Plebes Twelve. At a hundred credits an ounce, it was hard to do. But the bacon and eggs had to be refrigeated the entire two weeks in stasis, it was equally a fair deal.

"I need one more thing," he trailed off. "It is a lot to ask, you've already done more than I ever would have asked of you, you can say no-"

Tim nodded knowingly. "I'll finish it. No problem." There was not an ounce of trepidation in the younger man's voice.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm headed back by there anyway. You saved my mother and little sister from a fate worse than death when you got them out just before the rape gangs came through, I owe you a lot more than this." He was earnest, he would do it.

What Marcus didn't say, but was evident on his face, was warning him with the knowledge of what they'd do to the both of them if THEY found out. The Minbari would not be so lenient next time. Tim looked back with only a clear resolute face. A clear conscious.

Marcus had asked Lennier to use Tim for this, as he was on earth at the time and owed him a favor. Lennier of course obliged his friend. Marcus would make up for that later with Lennier.

"Her'tul nak gul pub'han ah'toh," Marcus said sealing he deal in Religious caste. Let us never speak of this again.

"Jak nat gul'ta dur'esh." It is done, friend.


	13. Chapter 13

Hearing the ring she rose adjusting her soft brown slacks and black sweater. The door opened and Marcus stood there looking paler than she'd last seen him. He'd shaved and washed by the looks of his damp hair. But, there was something on his face she couldn't place that hadn't been there last time she saw him.

"Something wrong?" she asked catching his eyes.

He shook his head wearily. "Just tired, once I slowed down it all hit at once, I guess." He tried to smile reassuringly, but didn't succeed. "Ready?"

She wasn't convinced, but then he had been through a lot since yesterday and was still nursing some cracked ribs. Tired was an honest excuse in his condition, she shrugged it off.

"Yup," she said ushering him in.

"Kaito's?" she asked, referring to one of the restaurants in the Zocolo.

"Not after what I found in my plate last time."

She crinkled up her nose. "Casino?"

"Too noisy."

Finally she raised an eyebrow, frowning at him. He looked like he'd fall over at any moment. Maybe closer to home was better. "Left over Chinese in the fridge?"

The corner of his mouth turned up. "Sounds marvelous."

"Coming right up!" she sighed. "Be right back, have a seat."

He nodded and took as seat on the couch. She turned into the kitchenette and by the time she'd heated the plates and turned back around he was sound asleep.

"Of all the –" she growled grumpily, but then just smiled, setting down his plate she walked into the living area and prodded him to lay down. She lifted his feet onto the couch and took the throw from the chair and covered his shoulders with it. Then she sat in the chair to eat alone, one more time.

He'd have to wake up eventually, and no one EVER pursued her for two years then fell asleep when she wasn't looking. She was sure she wanted him to know just that when he woke up too. In agonizing detail.

She ate in silence watching him. Remembering what Delenn has said about "true faces" she observed in fascination as he fell deeper into his dreams, whatever they were, and his face softened, the weight of the world gone, leaving only the man. Delenn had never been more right in her life. But of course she'd never tell her that.

She finished her meal and set the plate in the washing unit and stopping at the end of the couch, and turned off the lights.

"Goodnight Marcus," she murmured brushing his cheek with her fingers then going to bed herself. She didn't see him leaving anytime soon.


End file.
